Stretchmarks: striae on the skin (as of the hips, abdomen, and breasts) from excessive stretching and rupture of elastic fibers especially due to pregnancy or obesity
If you are like me, when you hear the word stretchmarks, you think of those ugly, squiggly and normally red marks left on a woman's belly after pregnancy. Unfortunately, I acquired stretchmarks long before the thought of a baby ever entered my mind. Thanks to a rapid growth spurt in middle school my hips were the first victims of stretchmarks. I hated them from the moment they arrived on my body. I didn't like wearing a bathing suit and was embarassed about what people would think of me. Thankfully they faded over the next several years and were barely noticeable. I didn't give much thought to stretchmarks until the word "pregnant" showed up on that little white stick in April of 2010.
I knew that a majority of pregnant women got stretchmarks on their body while carrying their children. I was just so ecstatic about being pregnant I didn't care what happened to my body....... until I was about 8 months pregnant. My first pregnancy stretchmarks showed up on my hips. They would just blend in right? Then I got them on my thighs, breasts and belly. I felt like I was scarred and ugly. Would Kyle ever think of me as beautiful when I had these ugly, squiggly, red marks on my body? Was pregnancy worth these ugly, squiggly, red marks? These were the thoughts of an overly emotional pregnant woman.
Of course pregnancy was worth it! All I had ever wanted was to be a mother. I would take any "maiming" of my body to bring this precious life into the world. But the thought still lingered in my mind if Kyle would find me beautiful any longer. I know some of you think that is a silly thought. You think, "He is your husband, of course he will still find you beautiful." But when your body changes so radically and most days you don't find yourself beautiful, you wonder how someone else could. To my amazement at the time, Kyle did find me beautiful. He told me I had never been more beautiful. I knew he wasn't just saying that to appease his pregnant wife. He truly meant it. To this day he loves every single stretchmark that is on my body. Whether it be from a growth spurt or from a growing belly!
When I look at myself in the mirror, I think to myself that only God can put that kind of love in a mans' heart. If my gracious Father will give me a man who loves me for me and not just for my physical beauty then how much more does He love me?
These physical stretchmarks also make me stop and think about my spiritual stretchmarks. Those that mean so much more. I like to think that if I could see a picture of my "heart" that it would be covered in stretchmarks. When I asked Jesus to by my Savior my heart was "perfect". Not a single mark covered it. My faith has grown abundantly since that day. I have learned and I have failed. My "heart" has gotten bigger and from that there are stretchmarks. They are beautiful because they show my growth in my faith.
I know that my Father looks at my "stretchmarks" and says they are beautiful, just as Kyle looks at my "stretchmarks" and says they are beautiful!
